The Levels of Communication/Conversation

Nan Peck, Northern Virginia Communication College

Phatic Communication: Using conventional messages to establish rapport, to break the ice, and/or to end a conversation. You might hug, kiss, shake hands, bow, smile, make eye contact, and face one another. We exchange pleasantries by using cliches. Clichés are overused expressions that have lost their original (content) meanings and have taken on new relational meanings. We expect phatic communication at the beginning and end of every conversation, regardless of our feelings about a person.

Examples: Hello. How are you?

I’m fine. How are you?

Hi. Paper or plastic?

Thanks for coming. Have a nice day.

You’re welcome.

Factual communication: Using events, making observations, offering knowledge to others in a manner which can be called chit chat or small talk. At business parties, we rely upon factual communication to network, to schmooze, and to work the room. Factual communication includes reporting what you’ve read in a textbook, what you’ve studied for a test, showing pictures of your children, and exchanging biographical information about yourself. Factual communication is relatively safe and most do this well.

Examples: I’m majoring in business administration.

I’m married with three children, two sons and one daughter.

Did you watch the basketball game last night?

What did we do in class last Friday?

Evaluative communication: Offering opinions, ideas and judgments to others. This is risky business because the odds are that others will reciprocate with their own evaluations, which may be different from yours. When people consistently use evaluative communication, they must be prepared for eventual conflict. Many U.S. Americans enjoy sharing at this level and feel that disagreeing with others is useful and invigorating. Unfortunately, many of us don’t use evaluative communication with a high level of competence. It’s important to consider the value of critical and creative thinking, as well as the relational meanings of messages that are exchanged. When using evaluative communication, consider carefully the importance of descriptive, provisional, and responsible expressions. Strive to avoid cautionary language, sarcasm, and nonverbal put-downs (e.g., rolling your eyes in response to another’s comments).

Examples: Of all my children, my daughter is the better athlete.

I thought that movie was excellent, particularly with the surprising ending.

I’m not convinced that your argument is well supported.

I agree with you!

Gut-level communication: involves sharing our emotions and feelings with another. We are sharing our very essence when we allow others to know our heart. This is risky business! Societies place constraints upon the specific emotions which can be conveyed (e.g., It’s good to express love; it’s bad to express hatred). We also have rules about when and how feelings can be expressed ("That was the wrong time and place for arguing with your spouse.")

Emotional intelligence involves interpersonal competencies including self-awareness, self control, flexibility and empathy.



Examples: I deeply appreciate your thoughtfulness and generosity in helping me earlier.

I’m so frustrated with you!

I’m wish that I hadn’t called you that name. I hope that you’ll forgive me.

He called me! I’m so excited to see him again!

Peak communication: Coming together with another in an extraordinary way. Two individuals who are gut leveling experience a transformation when they are sharing the exact same emotion with the same level of intensity. This is also called, "communal-level communication." It’s as if, for the moment, two souls merge into one. Peak communication is rare, even among close friends and family members.

Examples: I love you. I love you too.

I’m so angry with you. I’m so angry with you as well.

I’m glad that we were able to fight long enough to get this resolved. Yes, I feel exactly the same way, glad that we communicated collaboratively.

I’m scared. I’m scared too.



Some General Thoughts about the Levels of Communication



The greater the need to communicate our feelings, the harder it is to do. Indeed, sharing our opinions and emotions is risky business. We minimize the risk when we move through the levels of communication incrementally. That is, each conversation ought to begin with phatic communication and move through the levels (however quickly seems appropriate) before moving to the more intimate levels.



Generally, we look for the other individual to reciprocate at the same level of intensity. There is a social convention to match levels. If the other initiates a conversation at the evaluative level, we often feel compelled to respond in kind. This is dangerous.



Sharing our ideas and feelings is generally reserved for those whom we trust. Trust is a function of confidence, commitment, and time. We generally share our essence with those we’ve known a long time. To do with others is pseudo-intimacy.



For more information about the levels of communication, consult John Powell’s book, Why am I Afraid to Tell You Who I Am? (Niles, IL: Argus Communications) 1969.

The Three Different Levels of Listening

Listening skills is one of the key essential ingredients in effective communication. There exist many different levels of listening, from listening on and off, to active listening.

When we are engaged in a conversation, it is extremely easy to pay little to no attention to what the other person is actually saying. We can easily become distracted by other thoughts and things which are happening around us. We might even be thinking about what we are going to say next.


Let us consider the breakdown of the various common elements involved in communication.

40% - Listening

35% - Talking

16% - Reading

9% - Writing

Thus we can clearly observe that listening is indeed an important communication skill which has to be learnt.
Listening gives our loved ones the feeling of being appreciated and respected. Ordinary conversations emerge on a deeper level, as do our relationships. When we listen, we foster the skill in others by acting as a model for positive and effective communication.

Many people believe themselves to be good listeners, but in reality, there is always room for substantial improvement. Tests have shown that, on average, normal adult human beings only really hear ONE THIRD of the words spoken to them.

All of us listen in different ways at different times. We listen better in some situations than in others. For example, some people listen effectively in the job, but stop listening when they get home.

Each level of listening requires a certain level of concentration and sensitivity. These levels are general categories into which people fall.

Depending on the situation or the person, these different levels of listening may mix together. In this article, i have categorized the levels of listening into three different levels.

As we move from level one to level three, our potential for understanding, retention and effective communication increases. We began to develop our listening style very early in life. As we grow older, we continue to strengthen our listening habits and patterns.

How many of us give any thought to our own personal listening style? The following may help you to evaluate your listening approach in most situations.

Level One

This basic level includes


- Listening on and off



- Tuning in and tuning out



- Being aware of the presence of others, but mainly paying attention to yourself.



- Half listening. Following the discussion only long enough to get a chance to talk.



- Quiet, passive listening



- Listening, but not responding. Little effort is made to listen; actually, hearing is going on but very little real listening is going on.



Often, a person at this level is making believe that he is paying more attention while really, he or she is thinking of other things. They are generally more interested in talking, rather than listening.

Level Two

At the second level, the individual hears sounds and words, but does not really listen deeply. At this level, people stay at the surface of communication and do not listen to the deeper meaning of what is being said.

They are trying to hear what the speaker is saying, but they are not making the effort to understand what the speaker means. They tend to be more concerned with content rather than feelings. They do not really participate in the conversation.

This level of listening can be dangerous because misunderstandings may occur since the listener is only slightly concentrating on what is said. At level three, it is obvious that the person is not listening by the way the person acts; however, at level two, this is harder to tell and the speaker may have the false sense that the other person is really listening, when he is not.

Level Three

This level includes active listening. At this level, people try to put themselves in the speakers place - they try to see things from the other person's point of view.



Some characteristics of this level include: taking in only the main ideas, acknowledging and answering, not letting yourself be distracted, paying attention to the speaker's total communication - including body language.



Active listening requires that you listen not only for the content of what is being spoken but, more importantly, for what the meaning and feelings of the speaker are. You do this by showing that you are really listening both verbally and nonverbally.



It is ironic that the passive skill of listening is a core component of good communication. Listen skills is an important step to developing your communication skills. Posts like "Establishing Effective Communication Skills" highlights the importance of listening skills in communication. Interpersonal skills are indeed important in our everyday life. With time and practice, you will definitely before a more effective and successful communicator.

By: http://communicatebetter.blogspot.com/2009/01/three-different-levels-of-listening.html

A Master Teacher in Leadership